Postcards from Gameville

My hands-down favorite WoW podcast, Taverncast, is back from a long hiatus with a new episode of their “After Hours” format. (It’s the June 4th, 2007 episode if you go to their archives.) This time they talk about game addiction, and the results of an experiment Eloysius, one of the hosts did in the style of the film Super Size Me, in which he attempted to play at least 10 hours of WoW every day for 30 days. It’s a really interesting look for those of us casual players into how hardcore one can get, and how you can get to that point. He also went into how it started to affect him, both physically and emotionally. Good, good stuff.

Towards the end of the show, they went over a list of potential signs of game addiction, tempered by Eloysius’ experience. Some of the signs:

• Constantly forsaking important real-world events for game-events.
• Being regularly unable to keep to self-imposed limits on your playtime.
• If you spend all your non-game time thinking about the game, looking up strategies and information, talking about it, etc.

Eloy stressed that consistently falling into those habits was key. If you went on an all-weekend bender, that’s not addiction. But if every night of the week, you tell yourself you’re only going to play for a couple hours, and you end up playing for six or seven… that ain’t good.

It’d be great if Blizzard made a list of these types of symptoms available and highlighted them on the site. One of the other good points the Taverncast crew made was that many of us are concerned about addictive behaviors, but we wouldn’t know how to recognize it in our friends. Compounding that is the fact that we’d have to be around as much as our addicted friends in order to get a clearer picture of what’s going on with them. If you’re only on for three hours one night, you won’t see that your friend’s been on for six hours before and will be on for three hours after you leave.

I highly recommend you have a listen to this episode. And the rest of the show, it’s really well done. If nothing else, check out the Halloween special they did. (I spent part of last year trying to listen to two episodes a week during my work commute, starting at the beginning until I caught up.)

Apparently today, as Steve Jobs was giving the WWDC keynote, an error message popped up saying something about World of Warcraft had crashed. I had a friend who was there who later told me about it. Hah!

You know, I don’t think I want to know. These aren’t my lands, these aren’t my customs.

The Mage School in Ironforge sent me to Stormwind to talk to one Jennea Cannon of the school there. When I arrived at the Tower’s inner sanctum, Jennea let me know that there was some sort of disturbance going on at local tavern, The Blue Recluse… a disturbance of an extradimensional nature!

“You want me to blow them up?” I asked her.

She cocked her head at me. “Wha—no, I… no, Eifle, you can’t blow these things up. You can only stun them.”

“So you want me to stun them so you can blow them up?” I asked.

“No.”

“You want me to stun them so that guy over there can blow them up?”

“No. Eifle, what’s this sudden infatuation with explosions?” Jennea asked. It was a good question.

I thought for a moment before saying, “You know, I’m really not quite sure. Something about this place… no, this city makes me want to blow things up. And avoid ice cream.”

“This city is not known for making people lactose intolerant,” she said, turning to the table next to her. “Even so, at least you’re just an exchange student. Here,” she motioned to a few strange devices on the table. “Take one of these, and this parchment as well. The incantation you now hold will make visible the Rift Spawn within the Blue Recluse. Stun them and then contain them in these boxes. Now go and perform this task.”

I took one of the boxes off the table. “That’s it, huh?”

“Bring the boxes back when you’re done, of course. And take Ray Parker Jr. with you.” She jerked a thumb behind her, and I peered around her to see this guy smiling, sleeves rolled up and belt cinched like he was ready to get down to business. He carried some sort of staff that was glowing with an enchantment, so I assumed he was one of the local mages.

Ray and I headed to the Blue Recluse, which fortunately wasn’t busy when we arrived. Not that they’ve ever been busy. Actually I’m not sure how they stay in business.

I read the incantation off Jennea’s parchment, and there was a whoosh and a zap and hey, we could see the rift thingers!

One was near enough to hit with a Frostbolt. “What do you think, Ray? Should I bother with freezing it first?”

“If there’s something weird in your neighborhood,” Ray replied.

“I’d say so.”

“If there’s something strange and it don’t look good.”

“This certainly qualifies,” I said, and cast a Frostbolt at the nearest Spawn. We engaged in a magical battle the likes I hadn’t seen in a while, but I managed to subdue it. Quickly I tossed a box on the floor under it, which sucked the Spawn into it and trapped it. Success!

“Who you gonna call?” Ray asked me then.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Uh… me?” He cocked an eyebrow back at me, looking at me expectantly. “Me and Ray Parker Jr.?” I tried again. Ray smiled and pointed at me with both hands, like he was holding guns. Damn that guy is smooth. We rocked and locked two more Rift Spawn and went back to Jennea.

“I ain’t afraid of no ghost,” Ray said, unprompted.

“Those weren’t ghosts, Ray, those were extradimensional entities.”

“That… kind of sounds like a ghost, Jennea,” I said.

She swiveled her head to look at me. “They’re not.”

“Are you—”

“Yes.“

If you find yourself falling from a very high point, and you have advanced sufficiently in your training, here’s what to do:

1. Cast Slow Fall. Your descent will be made significantly more pleasant.

Here’s what not to do:

1. Spend time looking around after accidentally stepping off a cliff.
2. Say to yourself, “Oops.”
3. Realize that you’re rate of falling is increasing and how far up you might have been without realizing it.
4. Consider casting Slow Fall.
5. Land abruptly.

We took a hippogryph to Teldrassil and really, can I just say how much cooler these things are than gryphons? They’re gorgeous. A much better ride. I’d like to petition the gryphon union of the Eastern Kingdoms to consider allowing other choices to your customers. I know we’re filled with continental pride and all but don’t fear import vehicles. We’ll still have jobs at home!

Randis and I went through the glowing, teleporting tree—and honestly, I’m still trying to figure out how the night elves grew that thing when they don’t have any mages—and circled round the big bank tree that looks like a big bear with an eagle on top of it. It’s rather amazing, and Randis thought so too.

“WOW!”

“Yes,” I said, “it’s huge. A mighty marvel.”

“It’s so cool! Thanks for taking me here, Eifle. You’re the best!”

To be honest, I was filled with a sense of pride at that point, mixed with hope for our future generations, that they’d be gracious, humble, hard-working and—

“Hey, can you take me to Theramore?”

Randis’ request broke me out of my reverie. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, I wanna meet Jaina Proudmoore and get her autograph. She’s my hero! Can we go? I mean, we’re on the same continent.”

“Yes, but—”

“And I want some ice cream. Tigole’s Strawberry. Mmmm.”

“What?”

“I think they make it in the Shimmering Flats.”

“What?!”

“Tigole’s makes the best ice cream! Mmmm.”

So much for my hopes for the future.

We took the boat from Auberdine back to Menethil, and then another boat to Theramore. On the way, I turned to Randis and said, “I’d like to point out that I’ve taken you across the ocean three times at this point.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m just saying. In case you wanted to grasp the enormity of effort that’s gone into this field trip. Three transoceanic journeys. Two transcorporeal death scenes. Setting my hearthstone to Stormwind when I’m needed in Loch Modan.”

“I wonder if Jaina likes Tigole’s Strawberry ice cream.”

I’m never having kids.

We arrived at Theramore and went straight to the main tower, no time for sightseeing. Up we climbed, and at the top, Jaina actually gave a moment of her time to me (and I stress “me” because Randis was suddenly too shy).

“You’re very kind for taking Randis around like this, Eifle,” she said to me. “You seem tired, you must have travelled very far to come here!”

“You have no idea,” I said.

Randis, to his credit, was really grateful for Jaina’s autograph, and was overjoyed that she wrote him a personal message as well. But as soon as we were done in the tower, I activated my hearthstone.

Randis cocked his head at me. “Is that… can that thing take us both back? I heard that they only work for one person.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, letting the hearthstone continue to charge. “Empirical evidence is the best way to answer questions. Let’s find out together.”

Adventuring parents, your hearthstone can bring your kid back home with you, just so you know.

Now, fortunately, it turned out that there was an ice cream vendor in Stormwind that has Tigole’s Strawberry, so Randis’ last request was easy to fulfill. I handed him the ice cream and he beamed.

“Wow, what an awesome day. Thank you so much, Eifle. I think it’s time I got back to the orphanage, though.”

I wasn’t going to argue. But… okay. I like the kid. He knows how to set goals. Just don’t tell him I like him, or he’ll want to do this again next year.

We went back, I dropped Randis off, and for my efforts I received something that I have to admit made all the globetrotting worth it. I got… Mr. Wiggles!

Now I have a friend to keep me company, and he can help me practice my disappearing pig trick!

Last night some guildies and I decided to roll some Horde toons for a change of pace. We’ve done this sort of thing before, but several people wanted to do this on an RP server, which was more than fine by me. Six of us rolled new toons, created an ad hoc guild channel and proceeded to grind through our respective starting areas. On our channel, someone asked what our guild name should be if we pursue these new characters. In the middle of our conversation, something like this happened:

[4. penguins] [Eland]: afk fish crisis
[4. penguins] [Oleru]: “fish crisis”?
[4. penguins] [Oleru]: <Fish Crisis>
[4. penguins] [Panhorus]: yes
[4. penguins] [Kroos]: yes

I like the stranger guildnames over the terribly generic fantasy names. (Think: <Swords of Valor>, <The Silver Protectorate>, etc…. and I’m making those up, so if one of those is really your guild name… sorry, mate.) Something to give me more of a feel for what the character of your guild is. Something that says if you have a sense of humor about your guild name, maybe you’ll also have a sense of humor over an accidental party wipe or otherwise won’t be a prick.

But I also have a fondness for serendipity, automatic writing, accidental art, surrealism, and the like. And sometimes, just like when you might hear a turn of phrase and think, “that would make a good band name,” sometimes good guild names are accidentally found.

I’m sort of hoping we go with <Fish Crisis>, but I won’t be torn if we don’t. It seems fortuitous, for sure. <Drunken Plainstriders> was also thrown out as a version of our <Pirate Penguins> roots.

My dwarven comrade Kelvalron and I paid a visit recently to King Magni Bronzebeard.

The Loch Modan region is a welcome relief from the wintery Dun Morogh… for about two minutes. Then you realize what a flipping zoo Loch Modan is. If it’s not spiders trying to make you supper, it’s bears or boars or crocolisks or whatever those things are at the bottom of the loch. Still, I had been charged with showing young Randis around, so north we went along the road towards the Stonewrought Dam.

Our journey went mostly without a hitch, up until the point where we had to cut east across the land. That’s where we ran across an encampment of kobolds who had taken over the mines.

“You gonna fight ‘em?” Randis asked.

Of course not. We ran through between them, and the few who noticed us were frozen in place with a Frost Nova spell as we made it to the safety of the dam.

“That wasn’t very courageous.”

“I thought you wanted to see the dam, not battle.” I told him.

“This is such a cheap ride.”

“Are you paying for this trip?”

Randis grumbled. This sort of thing is probably why I’m not a father.

Randis’ mood improved once we reached the center of the dam, where we saw the amazing giant stone heads on the Wetlands side, and he was completely impressed with the dam’s size overall.

Randis had ideas about how to proceed. “You can do that thing where we float down after jumping off the dam, right?”

“No, I haven’t yet progressed that far in my studies.”

“Aw, maaaaan…”

Soon we were heading back through the kobold camp and through the gates to Dun Algaz. The Wetlands are as much as a zoo as Loch Modan, but I was even less equipped to deal with the wildlife. Soon a crocolisk had us facedown in the marsh. The graveyard is right near Menethil, so we just revived there and were done with it.

On the boat to Auberdine, I jumped on the prow and got down. Randis didn’t know what to make of this, probably because he hasn’t been out adventuring before.

So it’s been a while, but before I finish the Children’s Week story, I need to talk about an issue that I consider important… no, critical to my well-being. Some of you may consider this to be nitpicking, but honestly, it’s not your physiology we’re talking about here. The problem is simple yet alarming: when I sit down, my ass and legs disappear.

No, really, check it:

What in blazes is that?! Just because I’m wearing robes, my lower body becomes a pair of feet that create something for my upper body to float upon? Like I’m somesort of biped/hovercraft hybrid?

And look! You can see snow behind where my ass should be! Not only am I losing body parts, my robe has a hole in the back—which disappears when I stand up, however that happens. I’d say it was a feature if my robe was the product of expert gnomish engineering, but I got it off some human priest who likes to sew in his spare time. And without legs, my hands sink into my robe to rest on… nothing! You can’t even make a raunchily rude comment about this one.

Who do I talk to about this? The priests don’t have a “Rematerialize Lower Extremities” spell. I don’t trust the warlocks to summon something back. And what are the druids going to do? Seriously, I need this fixed, and I wager I’m not the only gnome who does.